You’ll still miss me in your bones

If you’re reading this and you like Taylor Swift, you’ve come to the right place. If you’re reading this and you don’t like Taylor Swift, well I don’t know if I can help you there. Taylor Swift has produced so many good songs that I’m convinced that people hate her because they want to be her. One of my pass time hobbies is to annotate her songs with what the lyrics mean to me and how I relate to what she feels through her chosen words. Sometimes we agree on how the lyrics make us feel and sometimes we have our own designated feelings. I don’t know if she intended to have so many meanings behind her lyrics, but I like to think she does and that there are people out there that will never understand that.

Today’s song on my mind is “My Tears Ricochet” from the album Folklore. There is utterly so much to unpack with this song, but I’d like to focus on one lyric in particular, “but you would still miss me in your bones”. You see, I’ve lived 23 years struggling to find love for myself and who I am. Now, as I stand here after 23 years of self-hatred, I have enough love for myself to know that the people that I have given opportunity after opportunity to stay in my life when they least deserve it, that ultimately did not last, are the ones that will miss me in their bones. Even if it takes a lot to admit to myself, I have spent 23 years trying to be the utmost best person I can be and there truly aren’t many people out there doing the same.

If nothing else urges you to try and be the best person you can be, let it be me. In a world full of hate be the one that lights up a room and know the power you have to do so. If you are the one that lights up the room let there not be people in your life that will try and put out that very light. It’s taken me a very long time to figure that out. Too many people will be quick to try and extinguish the light when they themselves can’t produce any. Those are the people that shouldn’t be in your life.

There is a small part of me that knows that I am the best thing that has ever happened to some people in my past, and through their own inability to let me shine they have lost me. There for they will forever and always miss me in their bones.